Tag Archives: self improvement

7 Ways to Show Your Writing a Mother’s Love

A mother’s love is a funny thing. It seems to me an unending, ever fruitful, and often times colossal, force to be reckoned with. Take for instance my mother:

  • Hard working owner of a B&B
  • Devoted Peony farmer
  • Grandmother/fill in mother of two full-time Grand-babies
  • Volunteer for multiple organizations
  • Doting wife
  • Loving Daughter

And that’s in a nut shell. The list of my mom’s to-dos goes on and on and on…and on. Yet, she still manages to come to my blog, and read every single one of my posts. If you go back right now and check in the comments section, she is often the first person (ok…Sometimes the only) to comment.

Those comments are always filled with affection, support, joy, and genuine happiness at having read something I wrote. Why? Because she’s operating with a mother’s love. When a mom loves her child, she will go above and beyond to make sure they feel that devotion.

After reading my mom’s last loving comment, I got to thinking…Why shouldn’t our writing get a mother’s love? After all, these words are our babies, are they not? They are the infants of our mind, and deserve that same sort of diligent affection that my mother finds time to shower me with.

So… I made a list.

7 Ways to Show your Writing a Mother’s Love

  1. Dedication: Let’s start here. I’m needy and forgetful. My mom knows this. If she didn’t constantly remind me that she loved and adored me…How, oh how, would I ever remember, or believe it? You’re writing is the same way. It’s needy. If you don’t dedicate yourself to writing daily, and express your devotion by getting words on the page, your skills will slowly start to rust. So, as I begin to wither without my mother’s constant reminders of devotion, our writing too will suffer without our attention. We must devote ourselves to writing, and improving our relationship with the written word.
  2. Confidence: I don’t know about your mom, but mine is a permanent resident of the ‘Brittney Fan club’. It is her faith that often times drives me to bigger and better things. So I say, give this confidence to your writing. An author once told me, “We are only as good as we believe we are.” Have faith in your ability to not only write, but to write well, and let that confidence bring your words to a greater level. It won’t come easily, but knowing that you are a Writer, that this is a tangible thing you can embrace, may give you a needed push to carry on.
  3. “You can do better”: When I was a child, my mother used this statement often. It’s not that what I had done was wrong, or unsatisfactory, but she knew that I was capable of so much more. Push your writing to be better. Don’t settle for mediocre or subpar verbiage. Explore, prod, and excel. Always. Give yourself goals, and push your own boundaries until your writing reaches the levels you want it to. Don’t give up on it.
  4. Nourishment: Mom’s feed us, so we must feed our writing. Attend seminars, read, go to writing conferences, and never stop learning. Feed your inner writer with knowledge!
  5. Freedom: My mom was rather rad, in that she let me have more freedom as a child than most parents. However, at any given age…in certain cases much later than others… we all must fly the coop.  Our moms have to let go — to give us our freedom. Give this to your writing! Allow the inner writer to just write. Don’t worry about grammar, or spelling or using the correct language… Just write. Give it creative freedom, and you may find something beautiful and outrageous. Something that would never have come to you in the confines of your own strict rules.
  6. Knowing when to walk away: Not going to lie… This drove me crazy!!! When we would argue, my mom was always the first to walk away. ‘Give me space’…’I’m done talking about this right now’…We’ve heard them all before! But, what I didn’t realize until I was out and about getting into crazy shenanigans… is that these moments of our relationship, were simply another type of love. I’m stubborn… and I didn’t get it entirely from my dad. When she walked away it was because she knew neither of us were going to give. She was giving us the space needed to breath, the space needed to soak in each other’s side. Know when to walk away from your writing. It needs space, and so do you! Give yourself time to let go of your stubborn streak, and come back to the pages with a new found openness. It could be that you really don’t need that scene with the rubber duck and polka-dot umbrella. Or, maybe, that scene is the Bee’s knees, and needs velociraptors with light sabers… Only you can decide… We walk away so that we can more clearly see if we need to kill our babies. She, as of now, has let me live.
  7. Love: Just pure and simple. My mother loves me. She tells me, in not only her words, but in her actions as well. I feel that love, and other people are able to see it. If you truly love your writing, and you express that love through devotion to your craft…Readers will see it and they will feel it through your words.

Give your mom a hug… She certainly deserves it!

Cheers

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Growing up

As a child I often wondered — what will I be when I grow up? A question, I personally think, is pretty common. We look around us, the great wide world, as ripe as a fruit, and we dream of adventures to come. We look at our parents, our aunts, uncles, coaches, grandparents, Tv stars, anyone who’s anywhere above one inch taller than us, and we KNOW that they have it better.

I remember sitting in Home Economics class, learning to balance a checkbook, and thinking, “One day… One fantastical, explosively exciting day, I will actually need to balance a checkbook.”

That day came, and now it wont seem to leave me alone. It follows me around like the smell of newly stepped in dog feces. I’ve tried to rub off this day — to leave it on a rug, or some newly budding grass… But, alas, it holds tight.

I spent my whole childhood waiting for the day that I would “grow up”, and I now spend the days wondering when I get to be a kid again. When it’s ok to be carefree and excited about life. When deciding what I’m going to be… not what I have to be, to pay bills, but what I WANT to be… is the greatest question I need to ponder.

I’m making a decision today. I’ve decided that although I may never get to be a child again, with few cares, and little angst… I can be as excited about the little things as I once was. That I can dream, and I can look forward to becoming something better. That I should embrace one of the truest changes that has taken place.

I have the power to choose.

When we are young, life happens around us. It is this vast entity which we are unable to comprehend in entirety. Much as it is now. However, as adults, we are given so much more freedom, so many more choices.

No longer are our options: Fireman, Cop, marine biologist (I liked dolphins), or an apprentice glass blower (trip to italy)…

We can be anything we choose to be, and we are the ones who make the choices, and take the actions that will get us to these points.

So, I suppose I’m saying embrace who you are, what you’ve become, and where you want to go. Take time to marvel at life’s wonders, and let yourself be a child every once in a while. Embrace the strange that is you.

I may never take joy in balancing a checkbook again, but that doesn’t mean the wonder has to be left entirely to younger days.

-Brittney

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Being a Better Person In Your Heart

There are people who wake up puking rainbows, and singing sunshine into the world. I am not one of those people. There are people who upon hearing the statement, “No, no, no…What do you DO do?” don’t immediately whisper inside their own mind…’oh, man! He said doodoo!’… I am not one of those people. There are those who think happy thoughts, praise the ass hole at work for being slightly decent, and genuinely stop to smell all the roses. They are the clean ones, the untainted. I am not one of those people, but I do consider myself a “good” person. Why?

I recently had a very eye opening conversation with an intelligent man, regarding the inner most workings of the human being. I’m not talking about internal organs or the vascular system, I’m talking about the wayward workings of the heart and inner mind.

‘I wish I was a nicer person in my heart.’ He says, glancing over at me quickly before returning his attention to the road. The car ride has been mostly silent up until this point and I am slightly startled by the sound of his voice.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask, forcefully ripping my eyes from the clean pages of my recently purchased novel. It’s probably for the best that I put it down, my stomach is starting to get that queazy reading-in-a-car feeling. 

‘I was just contemplating whether I should swerve now to facilitate your motion sickness, or wait until after we’ve had lunch so that it’s worse for you.’ He smiles at me, chuckles slightly and then goes back to driving. 

‘Yeah, I wish you were a nicer person in your heart too!’ I say, before folding my receipt firmly between the pages of my book, and clamping it shut. I don’t want him to get any more ideas. 

The truly remarkable thing about said conversation, is that it was followed by nothing. No swerving, no reckless driving to ensure my equilibrium stayed shaken…nothing. In fact, I would go so far as to say that his driving improved almost immediately. This, cruel thoughts-kind actions, mentality got me thinking. I don’t know about you, but there are countless times in my life where I have found my self thinking something cruel, inappropriate, mean, or downright nasty. I have plotted elaborate hoaxes, envisioned rivals tripping on their own feet, and my brother’s computer self combusting into a thousand tiny pieces. I have giggled internally about potty humor, and cursed out my mother. (Sorry mom…It was mostly in my 17th year… you know… THAT year.) All of this, without a soul’s knowledge save my own. I spend many days wishing that I was a better person in my heart, but does having these thoughts and feelings make me a “Bad” person? I don’t think so. I think that having these thoughts and feelings makes me a better person, to be honest.

On a typical day, I can have anywhere from 1-1000 horrible things pop into my head; the number is not predetermined, nor have I ever kept track. I firmly believe that it is in these thoughts that my moral code and ethical behavior is strengthened. Guilt, shame, and a desire to stand apart from these thoughts are all powerful motivators. There is a statement that’s been flying around for a great many years. ‘Actions speak louder than words.’

It is not in the thoughts or feelings that we have, but how we choose to process and act upon them that makes us who we are. I make a conscience effort to do good things, and be kind to others, partly because of the darkness that plagues my mind, and partly because I truly believe in being a better person. I have chosen not to be determined by what I was born with, but rather, forge my own path. I have no control over what I think, or how I feel, but I can control how I treat other people. I’m sure there are those in this world who doubt their morals and ethical fabric, because of these thoughts. Well, I’m here to tell you that no one is perfect, and that despite the little devil on our shoulder…we can be as good, or as bad, as we choose to be.

Imagine a world in which for every bad thought, a person performed an act of kindness… Even at 50% we’d be looking at a whole hell of a lot more beauty and friendship in the world. So yeah, we can all wish that we were better people in our hearts; we can dream of a day when we don’t make fun of the neighbor’s comb over, or think awful things when no one is listening. But if we want to be better people? All we have to do is…Be. Better. People.

Cheers!

Brittney

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