As a child I often wondered — what will I be when I grow up? A question, I personally think, is pretty common. We look around us, the great wide world, as ripe as a fruit, and we dream of adventures to come. We look at our parents, our aunts, uncles, coaches, grandparents, Tv stars, anyone who’s anywhere above one inch taller than us, and we KNOW that they have it better.
I remember sitting in Home Economics class, learning to balance a checkbook, and thinking, “One day… One fantastical, explosively exciting day, I will actually need to balance a checkbook.”
That day came, and now it wont seem to leave me alone. It follows me around like the smell of newly stepped in dog feces. I’ve tried to rub off this day — to leave it on a rug, or some newly budding grass… But, alas, it holds tight.
I spent my whole childhood waiting for the day that I would “grow up”, and I now spend the days wondering when I get to be a kid again. When it’s ok to be carefree and excited about life. When deciding what I’m going to be… not what I have to be, to pay bills, but what I WANT to be… is the greatest question I need to ponder.
I’m making a decision today. I’ve decided that although I may never get to be a child again, with few cares, and little angst… I can be as excited about the little things as I once was. That I can dream, and I can look forward to becoming something better. That I should embrace one of the truest changes that has taken place.
I have the power to choose.
When we are young, life happens around us. It is this vast entity which we are unable to comprehend in entirety. Much as it is now. However, as adults, we are given so much more freedom, so many more choices.
No longer are our options: Fireman, Cop, marine biologist (I liked dolphins), or an apprentice glass blower (trip to italy)…
We can be anything we choose to be, and we are the ones who make the choices, and take the actions that will get us to these points.
So, I suppose I’m saying embrace who you are, what you’ve become, and where you want to go. Take time to marvel at life’s wonders, and let yourself be a child every once in a while. Embrace the strange that is you.
I may never take joy in balancing a checkbook again, but that doesn’t mean the wonder has to be left entirely to younger days.