Malarkey: speech or writing designed to obscure, mislead, or impress; bunkum:

The claims were just a lot of malarkey.

(compliments of

Who knew! Turns out I have been unknowingly been using the word incorrectly for most of my adult life…WELL! No more, I say! I last posted that I was going to put up some of my writing for you folks who stayed faithful to my unfaithful posting… So here it is! Some Malarkey for you to read! Whether I mean to Obscure, mislead, or impress….you’ll have to decide yourselves!

Excerpt from my untitled book:

“Your towels are getting dirty mom.” I cringe when her finger goes to her mouth and she begins to lather saliva around my eye socket. “Mooom…” I can’t help the fact that I sound like a whiny 15 year old; she just licked me!

“Oh hush. I’m getting some of the blood off.” Her fingers don’t stop their trek around my face, but she does manage to use a different finger when she re-wets. Well, at least I know she’s not some sort of blood licking vampire.

“Yeah, well if you had picked up the towels by approximately…..” I wait for the last corner to darken in the muddy water, “…now, you could have just used one of those!”

“Quit complaining.” She sighs as she runs out of fingers, and I sigh at the sticky feeling of tongue love now slathered over most of my left side. “Well, this is the best I can do.” She says, as she deftly pulls a teenage mutant ninja turtles band-aid from her pocket and slides it over the cut. The gesture makes me smile, and I must admit, TMNT sort of rocks.

“Thanks mom.”

“Oh, you’re welcome love…Now, let’s get you off of your tush before someone see’s you sprawled on the street like some hoodlum.” Technically hoodlums don’t sport TMNT band-aids on their foreheads, and realistically I could care less if someone sees me sitting, well slouching, on the doorstep of my new shack…building; however, I just keep smiling and more importantly, I keep my mouth shut.


OOOK, Well…Here’s the first bit! Sorry for any grammatical errors and I hope you enjoy it!





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2 responses to “Malarkey

  1. Very interesting. You got me intrigued! As I read this, I remembered an interesting fact… Your own saliva removes your blood the best. Water or other’s people’s saliva is less effective. When my kids have blood issues, I always use their spit (my fingers or a tissue do the wiping).

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