It’s F*king Raw!!

And it is. Raw, Real, and Uncut… Or at least that’s what I’d like to think. I don’t know why people come back week after week, season after season to watch Gordon Ramsey annihilate another round of unfortunates on Hell’s Kitchen (myself included)…But, I’m sure for some it’s the simple joy of watching another person get their ass handed to them, yes..there are people who enjoy that. Or for others, it could be the intense drama that it brings to mind, a drama up until now one could only speculate on. People all over the world wanting to know what it’s like to work in a professional kitchen, now imagine that behind closed doors it is chaotic, unhealthy, and downright brutal. Yet surprisingly (towards the end at least) the chefs are still able to produce beautiful, succulent food… Eye catching and dramatic. The stuffs we as home-cooks/boat-cooks/and those who do not cook only dream about.

I’d say that my reason for watching is a combination of the latter, and the following. Somewhere in my befuddled, over-confident mind is a tiny thread of pride..We are talking Nano-scale here.. A thread so small I dare not share it with any other…Except now, I suppose..That says if I was on Hell’s Kitchen I could hack it. I would sear my salmon just so, cook it until it was flaky and moist..(such a weird word, moist.) I’d make pasta al dente; pasta so magnificent even Chef Ramsey would smile. My beef Wellington would be golden brown and cooked perfectly to order; I would never burn the bottoms…When he ate my first dish he wouldn’t spit it into the, he would take a second bite, maybe even three! I’d be a shoo-in for that ridiculously high paying executive Chef’s job…Oh, did I mention that my shining personality would save me from ever getting in fights with my fellow cooks-to-be, and when I won, they would be proud of me?

Well, that was a nice little fantasy! In Reality I have habits that would make Chef Ramsey’s face harder into what can only be described as “True Horror.” I’m a good cook, not a great one, and I have NO talent at plating what so ever.. My boys are meat and Potato people.. We don’t get too fancy around these parts.
So maybe I’m more of a curious eye then a dreamer. Maybe, just maybe, I’m imagining what goes on behind those big metal doors…Cuz I’m on a tug boat, who am I to guess?

In closing, I’d like to thank Gordon Ramsey for A. Being surprisingly adorable when he isn’t in his whites and preventing me from thinking he is the scum of the earth. B. Enlightening me on the proper way to sear scallops, and not be a “F*king moron”, and C. Hell’s kitchen for bringing my boyfriend and I into a world we can only dream of… Nightmares granted.. But foggy, thankfully unattainable dreams none the less.

Please, please, please Watch this HILARIOUS video of a “Young” Gordon Ramsey…You will either Laugh, smile, or call child services…Any of the above emotions are acceptable….


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Filed under Foodie Friday, Humor

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