Day 3: December Mock-up, The Beauty Bubble

The transition from youth to teen and then the leap on into adulthood is hard for most of us. The us to which I am referring is the plains, the intellects, and the unfortunate homely people of the world. We are the fat best friend, the genius who does the football team’s homework and the girl who never really grew into herself as everyone predicted. Most of us have genuinely interesting personalities…that is if we did not let the bitterness well up inside us for years and years and maybe a couple more years.. We are good people, well liked for the most part who contribute greatly to the day-to-day of this world. However, collectively we have an ever-present flaw. We aim to please…and it is this flaw which has created the Beauty Bubble.

The Beauty Bubble is not visible… you will not be knocked over if a fellow human being is sporting theirs for the day, or be able to spy those given the privilege of wearing one. It is delusion. It is the protective barrier between those with extreme beauty and the truth…and it is the normals of the world who must take blame for keeping it from them. We do it without thinking, never realizing that each lie is slowly covering them in a blanket of unjustifiable securities. We tell them they are great cooks, we laugh at their asinine jokes, and we ask them to tutor us in math, even though they forget their times tables. All of this in the hopes that they will like us, regardless of our physical inadequacies. Perhaps we believe that somehow, someway, their beauty can be passed on to us, as if it were a baton and we were the advantageous one picked to be on their track team. But for whatever the reason.. or reasons… we have created the beauty bubble, and at some point it must be stopped!

We cannot continue to spread the pandemic, and think there will be no consequences…The beauty bubble is dangerous. It puts people with little or no experience, skills, or knowhow into positions of great power. Soon they will run our planet..it has already begun.

It’s your beautiful rich neighbor who has changed her breast size six times, waters her white roses with sports drinks (in the hopes that they will turn red) and happens to be the most well paid surgeon this side of the Mississippi. It’s your manager who sticks pencils in his mouth like a walrus, forgets how to spell his name (its Travis…or is it Traves?…you really don’t know because it changes daily), and is paid twice what you are to do half the work. It’s the school principal who failed high school and doesn’t know the difference between superstitious and suspicious, often interchanging the two on a daily basis..which drives you insane. Note: She also says A-M-A-Z-I-N-G…

A Lot.

What do these people have in common? They are hot… They have flawless skin, perfect teeth, and a tush which has made you consider changing teams. They laugh, and it sounds like bells. They cry when they are slighted, and you are already ripping your shirt off in an attempt to let out the inner hulk…They need saving right?

The beauty bubble has protected them all of their beautiful little lives. It’s what makes them offer to give you tennis lessons, even though you have never played and you can easily beat them. But, don’t worry.. You wont.You let them win…and they take that, and add it to the extensive list of things they are great at.

Hotties don’t know when they are in the beauty bubble…they always think that they are just that amazing.

Here is a short list to determine if you are in the beauty bubble:

  • Your hot..Sorry.. it’s a requirement… And not the “all my friends think I look good in this outfit” hot…GQ model hot.
  • You think its normal for people to give out free anything….food, electronics, cars, babies…It’s not normal.
  • You are fluent in 5 languages and you have never studied…..
  • Your friends always want to do exactly what you want to do, even though Lisa’s mom is in the hospital asking for her and John’s broken leg is acting up from all the trampoline use.
  • Anyone you cook for tells you how amazing it is…last night you made frozen seafood with purple cabbage and nutmeg…you mixed it in the wok…and you called it chinese.
  • You started out as the receptionist on Monday, but by Tuesday they have realized your way too overqualified for that position…I mean how could you not be with your Honorary Degree from the Ivy League school you partied at last week. You don’t understand why they called it the Ivy league, because the plants weren’t climbing anywhere..
  • And you haven’t walked over a puddle in anything less than a $400 dollar jacket… Don’t worry, you asked.

So now you know…your not good at sports, your jokes are not funny, and the only thing you have going for you is that pretty little mug of yours.

Saying this I’d like to clarify that all beautiful people do not live in the beauty bubble… there are still amazingly good looking people who realize that they are not perfect. This will change unless we, the normal looking, average joe, poop in public bathrooms kind of people, don’t start laying it to them straight.

Honesty..It could save the world.

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1 Comment

Filed under Humor, Uncategorized

One response to “Day 3: December Mock-up, The Beauty Bubble

  1. Great post thanks. I really enjoyed it very much. You have a great blog here.

    Love writing? We would love for you to join us!

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